Final

I went to class tonight for an exam and realized two things--it was my FINAL exam and, naturally, my final class. Awesome. I was talking with one of my associates who shared my opinion that anything over a mere passing grade is a waste of time.

Stages

I recently received this in an email. And I quote:

About the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior:

A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."

The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the
following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage
3. From courage to liberty
4. From liberty to abundance
5. From abundance to complacency
6. From complacency to apathy
7. From apathy to dependence
8. From dependence back into bondage

End of quote.

It appears that we are in stage 6. We don't care about anything. Actually, many of us do care about many things--important things, at that--but we are becoming a nation who would rather live a life in bondage than sacrifice for future generations. We (myself included) have become so complacent that we forget how our complacency was afforded. We have placed convenience over conscience. A long, easy life is valued more than a short, purpose-filled life. And I probably can't even fathom the sacrifice required from generations before me, from people from stages 1 and 2, to allow me to sit at this table in this coffeehouse and type this.

Proverbs 12:28--"In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality."

sweet

I was watching a football game yesterday in Wichita and there was a dude whose last name is "Smelley". Poor guy.

Thanksgiving was glorious. The Chiefs beat the Denver Donkeys, Wichita State beat #6 LSU--AT LSU--and then KU beat #1 Florida in Vegas. I can't think of the last time I've had such a successful weekend with my teams. Now I'm wondering who I'd root for in KU-WSU game. I went to WSU, but KU has been the only team worth cheering for until recently, so I'd feel weird cheering against them.

Then at church today, we had a touching moment. Sob, sob. Literally. We started talking about things we were thankful for and I mentioned our church to start off with and then I started talking about my wife and I teared up like a big wuss. It was stupid. Then, of course, the other chicks started sobbing.

Anyway, my church has been great. (I guess that since it's a Thanksgiving blog, this might be an appropriate topic.) The reason I'm so thankful for them is because of the faith they have. It's funny because when people have faith in God, they also have faith in other believers. The whole God as Father thing never really clicked for me until I got going with this church. In my situation, for instance, I know that when I let God adopt me I became his son. Not like Jesus or anything, but that I have privileges, just like how any father shows favor towards his son or daughter before anyone else. And then, not only do I have favor from my Father, but my Father's frickin' awesome! He can do miracles, like turning my music degrees into a commercial real estate brokerage position. Or like giving a gorgeous, wonderful wife to a selfish, crooked-toothed fartknocker.

But more importantly, God's my dad. That's amazing. And back to my church--they know that God has great plans in store for all of his kids and that he wants more than the best for all of us. Here's a guy who is teaching middle school choir, then marries a beautiful PHARMACIST?!?, then starts a career as a commercial real estate broker. What the crap?! What does that have to do with anything? It may sound stupid, but it also sounds like something that God can make happen. It's like he's orchestrating everything, saying, "Check this out." And then laughing. I'm thankful for God's sense of humor.

Huh?

I was driving behind a guy who had a bumper sticker that read, "Terrorism is not the problem--it's a symptom." He had another one that read, "If you don't believe in abortion, don't have one!"

(Needless to say--which is why I'm saying it, albeit in parentheses--after taking a look at the driver, it didn't look like someone I would want my daughter to marry. Although I guess that would be profiling. And that's not nice. Er...)

What is that B. S. (bumper sticker) supposed to mean? And I'm assuming that he's not implying that Islamic Fascism is the disease. Maybe he's that (former?) Colorado professor who was claiming that America is to blame for 9/11. Anyway, this guy, as well as the Colorado guy, seems to have derived his philosophy from Osama. And if not, he at least agrees with him on a very foundational belief on the state of society as it currently exists and how it should exist. My question is: Why do people consider any philosophy that's even remotely close to Osama's to be valid? He wants to convert the world to Islam through force! He wants to kill America. Not just the country, but the people. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!

Many Christians and Muslims want the world to worship who they do. For instance: Bible-believing Christians believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven. So if they believe this, they should want to convert the world. Otherwise, that means that they don't care if the rest of the world goes to hell. Literally.

(One might say, "Yes, but why do you push your beliefs on everyone else?" to which I would respond, "Why are you pushing your belief on me that I shouldn't push my belief on you?")

BUT, to my knowledge, most of these Christians and Muslims do not go about this with force. Perhaps with strong encouragement, but not with force. Yes--Christians and Muslims may participate in heated conversations about this subject, but I know of no reasonable evangelist who practices force. For those of you who do, remember: It is not wise to judge a philosophy by its abuse.

And with regards to the abortion B. S. (again--bumper sticker), good point! I don't believe in abortion, so I won't have one! Oh--I get it. He's trying to get us to keep quiet about our beliefs. He's saying, "Don't have an abortion, and while you're at it, shut up!" American soldiers are fighting for the freedom that he has to make statements such as these, and he gets to decide who and who doesn't deserve that freedom. Maybe that's why he has more of a problem with America than with Islamic Fascism--he's a fascist himself. How dare someone like me have both a point of view AND a voice!

Or, maybe his philosophy is "Live and let live," which seems to be the new trend. He should know, however, that some things, like life and liberty, are worth promoting. Some things are even worth dying for--particularly those things that protect our lives and our freedom.

Even with this guy--I commend him for sharing HIS thoughts, though I hope they are founded on something more than some fleeting philosophy or emotion--something more than just a fascination with a little research to it. I hope he seriously considers his beliefs, whether they come from prudence or popularity, from selfishness or from sacrifice.

don't judge me

The other day I was buying a sports top for my wife at Dick's and I asked the checker chick, "Do you think this will look good on me?" With good intention, she facetiously replied, "I'm not going to judge you, so you can get it if you'd like."

Would telling me that it's not a good idea to wear a female sports top be judging me?

I'm not sure where it originated, but why is it that people mistake suggesting correction with judging? I really do think that this has a lot to do with why people think that it's not okay to tell someone--even school kids--that what they're doing is wrong. It's the same people who would say, "We 'should' no longer use the word 'should' because no one 'should' tell anyone else what they 'should' do."

Judging wasn't originally judging. Jesus used to get on people for judging, but that was because they would not only condemn someone's actions, but also condemn them. They hated the sin and, therefore, the sinner. And if hatred or condemnation wasn't flowing from their mouths, it was at least brewing in their hearts.

How did judging evolve from that to this? I'd venture to say that it's because of the lack of both believers and non-believers to hate the sin and love the sinner. So does that mean that people, in effort to love everyone, should decry nothing to make everyone more lovable? It reminds me of the part in Romans when Paul says, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" Except it's more like, "Shall we go on accepting everything so that perfection may increase (while grace decreases)?"

"By no means!"

Imagine where you would be if no one in your life ever "judged" (corrected) you. Imagine what this world will be when people stop "judging" (correcting).

Calendar

So I got a call from the guy from church who thought about hiring me as his assistant, and he told me that CB Richard Ellis (commercial real-estate brokerage) is hiring and that he's gonna try to hook me up with an interview with them. I have to take the real-estate class first, though. From what I hear, that'll be a good indicator of whether or not I'd really enjoy the profession.

I've come to the conclusion that teachers just don't make enough money. Nowadays, it's so commonplace for both husband and wife to work that "quality of living" (in terms of belongings and purchase of conveniences) is much higher than before with dual incomes. Maybe that's not the reason it's so difficult to support a family with one income, though. Maybe it's because the corporate world knows that they can force both to work by offering low wages. Maybe we all just want too much stuff.

And now...

I got completely thrown off on Tuesday. I was doing some accounting homework at Homer's and I got a call from the HR big chief from the Blue Valley School District asking me to come in for an interview for elementary/middle-school strings. It would have been my dream job a year ago, but now I'm not so sure because of income. Anyway, it's funny because I worked my butt off last year trying to land an interview with him (or with somebody not from the KCK district), and this year I'm not even looking for a teaching job and it comes to me! Well, not the job, but at least an interview.

So I went and made a fool of myself. In my defense, I was completely flustered and, I think, rightfully so. He called me at about 3:00 on Tuesday and asked me to come in for an interview the next morning at 10:30. And it's not like I had time that night to study-up for it. I had accounting class from 5:45 to 9:45. And, yes, it lasted till 9:45.

Anyway, as for the interview, he asked me how I was planning on recruiting, and he could probably tell that I didn't have the slightest clue, despite my ability to BS. Then--this is when the dookie really hit the fan--he asked me how I planned to teach vibrato. I remembered watching my cooperating teacher do it when I was student teaching, but for some reason, I was thinking that vibrato was done on the bow instead of the neck of the instrument. Please don't laugh too hard--I'm really not that dumb. I think I was just nervous and unprepared. Imagine: You're on a date with a chick (spare me, girls) and instead of running your fingers through a her hair, you rub your wrist against her left elbow, not thinking about how rubbing your wrist against someone's left elbow has absolutely nothing to do with anything. And then she gives you this confused, scared, weirded-out look, like, "What the crap are you doing?"

I talked to Alicia about the prospect of teaching (it was a prospect when we talked about it, which was before the interview), and we THOUGHT we could get by on a teaching salary if I made sure to get a decent-paying summer position with my MBA. But then I crunched some numbers on Excel, and man--it is expensive to live! We're gonna have to cut down big time or buy some cheap shack in the ghetto. Say a mortgage is $1000 (insurance and everything included), plus we put money into our IRAs each month, we send money to our Malaysia parents each month (Malaysian custom), gas, student loans, utilities, insurance, phone, and cable. For us, that adds up to $2700/month. Okay, so if we cut cable, we pay $2600 and we don't have internet. That's not including tithing (because it's a percentage of income), all of the miscellaneous stuff like food, clothing, car maintenance, travel, birthday/Christmas gifts, haircuts, and etc. I know--everyone's told me that you just make sacrifices and you find a way to make it work. Ideas anyone?

pizza

I just got this joke in an email:

what is the difference between a pianist and a medium pizza? a medium pizza can feed a family of four.

Now I have something to tell people to justify my change of careers when people harrass me about quitting music. No one outside of the music industry realizes how competitive music careers are! All these people tell me to "follow my dreams" and all that stuff, and they might think I'm a good pianist and they might have faith in me and all that, but I just don't think they understand how many other good pianists there are out there who are a lot more passionate about encouraging other pianists to pursue their dreams while, in the back of their head, they know these people will never make it. They just want to keep their jobs, so that's what music teachers do. Not all, but most. (I'm 26 and I've got the world all figured out.)

There was a job posting from Kansas City KS Community College about an opening for a piano instructor to teach class piano, applied piano, music theory, music appreciation, and other stuff. Here's the requirement: "Master's degree in Music, Music Education, Music Theory, Piano, or a related field is required. Graduate level training in piano and music theory with a demonstrated ability to teach in both areas is required." So here I am--probably perfectly qualified, having done the exact same thing at SMU. I have a master's in piano performance and pedagogy (study of teaching) from SMU, where I taught class piano, applied piano, and was a music theory GTA. I have a bachelor's in music education. The catch: They don't pay jack. It's ridiculous! Just imagine if I were equally and specifically qualified in business as I am in piano. A business would pay me twice as much... at least!... for a full-time position. Why did I waste my time in music school?

Well, if it was God leading me to my wife, then that sounds good to me. Really--if I hadn't done everything I did in music (and ended up at SMU and met people from my current church) I wouldn't have met Alicia. And she's frickin' AWESOME! So that works.

(This is all from an email I sent a friend. I'm lazy.)

Bummer

It's not me. The job didn't work out. Apparently, the next chick came and, indeed, knocked his socks off. So I'll keep chuggin' along at Farmers.

You ask for it--you got it! Toyota!

Alright, everyone. I apologize for the blogging delay. And unlike some of my competitors, I've been listening to your requests and hearing your cries. And I plan to act on it. So without further ado, your wish is my command! My latest blog has finally arrived!

So, ... uh, ... Hey. How's it goin'?

I'm trusting that no one I work with or who knows anyone I work with is reading this blog. Don't get me wrong--for the most part, I really like my job. But last Thursday I received a phone call from a guy from church who's a commercial real estate broker and he said he needs a right hand man. The pay is $30K--certainly more than what I'm making now--but the intangible is that I'll get some great experience in the business and learn from the best. He's pretty successful.

I've considered commercial real estate sales before but I've heard that it's very difficult to get in. In fact, when the guy from church started, someone basically gave him a phone book and said "Get to work." So this definitely seems like a better way to start. This guy owns his own business and right now it's just him and another chick who's moving to California. She was never interested in sales--in fact, I think she's going off to fashion design school. So the guy told me that he's probably gonna have to expand because right now he has to turn down $3K and $4K deals just because he doesn't have enough time.

So anyway, I've talked to a few people who all think it's an offer I can't refuse. Now I'm just waiting for the guy to call me back after he interviews one other person. Hopefully she doesn't knock his socks off! Actually, as much as I want the job, I really want whatever God wants and I hope that the guy has someone who's good for his company. And hopefully that's me!

Beavis's (Brett's) wedding is this weekend--I'm throwing the bachelor party for him. It'll be funny. If anyone can think of some ways to embarrass him, please let me know.

Alicia's doing well--she also has another attractive job prospect, so we'll see what happens with that. With this new job we're hoping for, she'll have a lot better hours (no nights or weekends) and we'll probably get to see each other more.

So keep us in your prayers.

nevermind

Umm, nevermind. I guess it's okay.

Help!

Does anyone know how to get this "blogger news, edit me, edit me" off the top of my blog?

The envelope, please...

It's Farmers! Hopefully. I can't actually remember whether or not the guy said I'd be hired or not. I'm pretty sure he did. He's in Aruba right now so I can't contact him. So I guess I'll REALLY find out when he gets back on Friday.

I'm excited about it--excited to see where it can go and what I can learn from it. And I know Alicia's excited about it!

Good day.

Favor

My wife just made me an awesome omelette--pepperoni, of course. I was introduced to them when Aubrey felt sorry for my caved in torso and made them for me occasionally. So I just had one of those and an English muffin. A Bri-ish muffin.

I actually have a piano performance coming up! I don't know when the last time was that I performed a piano piece. It may have been my graduate recital in February (or whenever it was) of '04 in Dallas. So, two years later, I'll be performing Liszt's 3rd Liebestraum and Chopin's 4th Ballade for some folks at a retirement village here in the KC area. So we'll see how that goes.

Today I was reading in Genesis about Joseph and God's favor on him. I wonder what he was thinking while being mac'ed (macked?) on by Potiphar's wife. Here he was, already having been despised by his brothers, now a slave for Potiphar, thinking, "God, what's next? How can I keep myself from getting in trouble?" So, as a slave, do you succumb to your flesh and to sexual pressures from the boss's wife, perhaps giving you the much desired favor along with ecstasy, fleeting as it may be, or do you succumb to your God-given conscience, subjecting you to more punishment, unfulfilled sexual desires, and etc.?

It's kinda like receiving directions from a trusted friend to their home, looking at it, and thinking, "Isn't there a quicker way?" So you get on Mapquest and look up directions and find what you think is a quicker way. Well, say your friend has a satellite view of where you live and they track your car the whole time. They see you go the way Mapquest says, even though Mapquest doesn't know about construction. You get stuck in a jam-packed construction zone for trying to spare a few minutes while you're friend's thinking, "Oh, boy. I guess I could've told him about the construction, ...but why didn't he just trust me?"

Joseph trusted. He saw the satellite view. And he had God's favor, particularly in the following chapters. That echoes what Paul said in Romans 8:28 about God working for those who love him and who are called according to his purpose.

So, anyway, that was that. Probably more to it, too, but I had to take a typing break for an interview. It went okay--for a mortgage company. That or Farmers... stuff to wrestle with. With which to wrestle.

Oh, and...

It's kind of a funny thing, this switching from music, something I've done for the past 20 years of my life, to something completely else. There are two ways to look at it: a) You're a musician! You've come this far! Why stop? or b) You're not a musician! You're still young! Why stay? I guess there's a third way, too: c) What the heck kind of path is this that God is leading me on?! (Probably the correct perspective, though gramatically incorrect.)

I guess A and B are more humanistic views, whereas C leaves little room for my own impetus. It's so easy, sometimes, to cling onto a catch phrase or even just doing what you're used to. But, yeah, especially the catch phrase thing. Either way, you don't have to think. And then you let God take control and you do all sorts of thinking!

The switch has been very good for me and I know Alicia does, and will continue to, appreciate it as well. It's definitely been better than it probably would have been had I tried to take the same courses (and interests, for that matter) 4 or 5 years ago. It's funny moving from music school to real world. Real world, to me, is actually having time for church because I'm not sleeping on a piano in a practice room somewhere. Anyway, it's funny because musicians are supposed to be the open-minded, creative, all different kinds of people type environment. But you move out of a music building and into a church building and you learn so many different things and achieve the glorious "open-minded" status. Until you get back into the music building and tell people where you've been. Then you're closed-minded. To most people, at least. There are a few wonderful exceptions.

Old Man Carnes

Okay, I'm just stalling here before I go to bed. Sleeping's so boring. It's great when I get there, though.

Alicia and I had an interview with Farmers Insurance this morning about the possibility of my becoming an agent. Pretty interesting prospect. I think I might like it! I'd be selling insurance that everyone has to have--it's not like I'm selling life insurance or something. Though it's (life insurance) something I'll get, I'll probably get it when I want it and not when someone else tells me to get it. Maybe. Okay, I'll probably get talked into it from a sales rep.

Anyway, about the auto insurance thing, I figure that I could at least ask people if they want to save some cash and get a cheaper rate. I know I'll deal with rejection, but I did telephone interviewing for about three years. I think I can handle it.

Can anyone out there see me as an auto insurance agent? Does anyone know of any Farmers agents that could give me the down-low on it? I know there's a lot of potential for growth, but I also know that there's a lot of potential for working a lot of hours and making a teacher's salary, too, which won't really support a family. I don't expect to make six figures after the first year, but hopefully I'd be over $50K after 2 -3 years? Hopes too high? Hmmm...

Okay, going to bed. Three more interviews tomorrow!

Picture Practice

Here's my attempt at inserting a picture:

Did it work? If so, that's obviously my wife and me. It was about 2-3 hours before we got married.

"I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good."

--Head, Butt.

Up too late

Okay. I'm sorry. It's late. Wait... my wife is in bed. Who am I apologizing to? To whom am I apologizing?

Blogging. Huh, huh. So... I'm tired. Hey--but I'm not teaching anymore! What should I do? Actually, sales. Maybe car insurance? Maybe financial advising? Who knows. Something with numbers and other not-music stuff.

I don't know what's harder--a) performing classical music on a weekly basis and wondering when and if I'm gonna forget everything and fall off the bench while assuming the fetal position, or b) leading worship (particularly a new song) and forgetting the words. Here's one of last week's songs: "Be still and know that he is ...sorry." Oops.

Okay, I just got the crap scared out of me with some lightning. I mean, thunder. I saw the lightning, so you'd think I'd be prepared for it, but nope. I still shook.

So, does anyone know what would be a good job for me? I'm good with numbers and recognizing patterns, I'm pretty good with peeps, I have an education degree, a little bit of office experience, a little bit of sales experience, and I'm currently pursuing a master's in business administration degree with finance emphasis here in KC at Rockhurst. I like to pretend like I'm a rapper and say, "Rockhurst." So, Suzanne and Andymaninoff, since you're the only ones who ever read this, I guess I'm talking to you. Not that I'm excluding opinions from anyone else.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Hello? Is anyone there? I just remembered my user name and password. Woohoo! I can blog again. Okay--I need to go work out. More later.

Long See No Time

Yeah, so there's been a bit of a hiatus. My bad.

A lot has happened since the end of school. Yesterday, for instance, I realized that I'd overdrafted my checking account four or five consecutive times. I've never overdrafted before in my life! I guess I spent a bit too much in Colorado. And I was in Colorado for a wedding. Great time. I drove up with my girlfriend's parents who, by the way, are great. So are her brothers. Did I have a girlfriend last time I blogged? I think not. So, I have a girlfriend. I hate calling her, "a girlfriend." It's more like... nevermind. For the sake of avoiding too much mush, we'll stick with that. She does have a name, though: Alicia. Beautiful Alicia. Anyway, we've been dating for six weeks as of yesterday.

So we got there--awesome home. The backyard overlooks the mountains. It was awesome. It was in Glenwood Springs, which is about 2.5 hours west of Denver, just off of I-70. The bachelor party was fun, along with the white water rafting, and the wedding was gorgeous. It was in the Aspen Glen Golf Club and the "aisle" is perfectly aligned with Mount Sopris, the huge snow-capped mountain between the other two. Mountains and trees all over the place.

The reception was great. The food rocked, but the dancing was even better. We danced "The Chicken" and the DJ told everyone that I was the best chicken dancer. He was right, too, I mean, come on. I rocked. And then Alicia did a little bit of rocking on her own when she caught the bouquet. It was cool.

I was convinced that I was gonna get this string teaching job, but that turned out not to work out. Bummer. So I'm still waiting for something else to come up. Oh, well--I got the girl. She's wonderful.

Okay, enough blogging for me. I stink and I'm gonna take a shower.

Last day of school!

Today's awesome, though the kids still suck. I can't believe that I have a class with 8 kids, I'm showing them a movie, and I still have to get on their cases for talking and not watching the movie. Not all my kids are like that, though.

I'm working on a little less than three hours of sleep, thanks to United Airlines. I was scheduled to pick up my roommate from the airport at 11:15, but his flight didn't get in until three hours later. So I'm finally in bed a little after 3:30 and wake up at 6:30. I think that's the least amount of sleep I've gotten all year, coincidentally on the last day! Whatever that's worth.

So here's some testimony of the Holy Spirit. Usually at church on Sunday nights, Pastor John is the one who delivers the message and Erik leads worship on guitar. Well, another guy from church, Brett, called me and told me that we were gonna have "Amateur Night". Erik wanted me to bring my piano to the house (where we have church) and lead worship and Brett to deliver the message. So I thought about which songs to do: Blessed Be Your Name came to mind as well as Your Love is Extravagant, Be Still and Know (Chapman), and Let My Words Be Few. I chose Blessed Be Your Name and also Be Still and Know because we talked about that verse last week. The last verse of that is:

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He's our father
Come rest your head upon His breast
Listen to the beating of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for his little ones
Calling each of us to come

For Some Reason (I hope you enjoyed those italics, Suz), when I finished that last verse on Sunday, I decided to have us do it again, so we closed the song singing it twice.

I had no idea what it was gonna be, but it turns out, Brett's message was about being sons and daughters of God and about his unfailing love for us, regardless of what we do. It was incredible.

I guess I probably could've shortened that story up a little, but I didn't want to take a chance of risking any part of the presentation. And I'm still typing.

Now I'm hungry. Gonna find some food.

Toodles

fried chicken

Hello again! Is this belated belated May day?

The Cat in the Hat is funny. I wish that I made more munny. My kids are watching this today, as it's the third to last day of school FOR THE WHOLE FRIKKIN YEAR!!! THE LAST DAY!!! DID YOU HEAR ME?!?

You're Fiyurrrrrrrrrduh! (Thankfully I haven't heard that said to me this year. I probably resigned just in time.)

Does anyone else out there love God? I've found myself becoming more and more like the people who used to annoy me so much. They always talk about God, as if they had no brains or made no decisions on their own. Don't get me wrong--I certainly don't think that God told me to hit the snooze button five times this morning or to deodorize my right arm pit before my left arm pit this morning. I guess it's just with my blessings, since God's the author of all that's good. Good stuff rocks. There are so many blessings around us--relationships, the earth, even bad jobs that, nonetheless, pay the bills--and, for God's sake and mine, the last thing I should do is forget to thank Him. Ya know?

Belated May Day

I missed May Day! I forgot that April only had 30 days. I hope no one was offended.

Believe it or not, I'm seriously contemplating applying for the job that I just resigned. I'm starting to enjoy the 6th graders and thinking that next year might not be so bad, especially if I get a bunch of stuff organized over the summer. Hmmm... Plus, I'd have more time to do a little better for the administration so they'd have something good to say for me when other districts call after I apply with them.

Yes, I'm here at school again, "sittin' here," showing a cheesy smile to one of the little girls who keeps talking to another girl and never does her work. Now I'm mad because the paraprofessional in here sneezed twice, got "blessed" twice, then I sneezed once, and no one "blessed" me. Oh, well. God blesses me OVER and OVER again. For some reason, recently, I've been noticing it more and more. I picked up some Great Harvest bread on Saturday and was driving home, realizing how much God blesses me, and I must've had a smile on my face for a good fifteen seconds or so. As Chesterton says, "The test of all happiness is gratitude." Makes sense, doesn't it?

My class is being so wonderful right now. I don't even know if they're doing their bell work, but I really don't care. As long as they're quiet. I'd better get back to teaching.

Incredibles

Guess what my kids are watching. Yep. They're certainly not watching me teach them. Nope--I'm here typing. They're watching TV. Wasn't I the one complaining in one of my earlier blogs about how these kids have terrible test grades and they let them watch TV during school? I guess I was speaking in 3rd person.

A lot of stuff to think about! Anyone out there married? What's it like?

Been talking to people recently about marital relationships. You know--living with chicks. 'N stuff. Whoa. ...Uhhh, whoa. Heavy. I guess you change a lot when you get married, but what if you're just not ready to change? Should you still get married and anticipate changing anyway? I mean, I can speak to guys and female friends okay, most of the time, but how do I talk to my wife? I consider myself pretty selfish, irresponsible, a bad listener, an okay communicator, I'm poor, and I haven't had a girlfriend in about three years. I've forgotten a lot, although I've probably lost some bad habits, too. I guess as long as I have a loving heart, it'll drive me to work on a lot of stuff. Right?

Fartknocker

So I'm sitting here again with my little sixth graders--last class of the day. There's a kid in here named Enrique who thinks his butt looks like Beyonce's. He always sags and when I told him to pull his pants up, he told me to stop looking at his butt. I told him to tell his butt to stop looking at me. That's when he told me that I'm just jealous because his butt looks like Beyonce's. He's hilarious. He's the same kid who up and raised his hand in the middle of class just to tell me that his grandpa takes his teeth out when he gets drunk.

Interesting day yesterday. Three VERY interesting conversations--two with people who are close to me, one about a prospective closeness. "That's all I have to say about that."

My church rocks.

Okay, so that was yesterday's stuff. Today is Tuesday, April 26th.

My 1st and 6th hour fartknockers sang a couple of songs for a middle school choral festival. They did okay. It could've gone a lot worse. It could've gone a lot better if it weren't for the people involved (my students and myself). I'm out of place. I went to lunch afterwards and talked to another teacher about the same thing. The out of place thing. I don't know if I've mentioned before or not, but I heard a sermon a couple of weeks ago called, "The Power of a Proper Placement." It was perfect for me at that time. And now, too.

Sayanora!

sittin' on a chair

Sitting here--just made a kid sit down next to me, but now he's reading what I'm typing, so I made him sit in the fourth row away from everyone. But when he went back there, he tripped over all the chairs like a buffoon, so I told him to come and sit by me again but to face the wall. This is one of my better classes, too. These kids are idiots. Kidiots.

So now I'm giving my little 8th hour 6th grade fartknockers a quiz that all but one of them are gonna flunk. They're so stupid and undisciplined (admittedly, I'm not helping the discipline that much).

Today was fun--there was a student who likes to bark in the hallways and as he was coming down the hallways yesterday, he was yelling and I told him to get in the classroom. He proceeded to turn around and yell something again. So, I got in his face and told him, "Don't EVER yell in the hallway again." Needless to say, I didn't lay a finger on him. That's a big no-no. Unfortunately.

A couple of the girls he was yelling to came in, I told them, "Hi, girls." One of them said, "Don't talk to me." I sent them both to the office for disrespect and for being tardy for the ump-teenth time. Next thing I know, I'm writing them up in the office a few minutes later, and I hear them telling the librarian that I grabbed Rigo by the shoulders and slammed him up against a locker.

So, I started this blog a few days ago and I'm finishing it today (April 18).

I was on the UMKC campus a couple of days ago and there was a guy there who was handing out Krishnas. Actually, he wasn't handing them out. Actually, he was, but then we had to pay for them. Actually, we didn't have to pay for them, but if we didn't, than we had to give the Krishna back.

It got me started thinking about how God came before polytheism. Yes, this is obvious. But I think a lot of the people who oppose Christianity oppose the idea that all of a sudden, someone says, "Only one of these religions is right, and it's ours." It's as if they're saying (to Jesus), "How dare you come into this world of many religions and claim that yours is the only true one." But, sadly, they don't realize that the God of Christianity was the first and true God. People knew "the way" but they let sin lead their hearts away from it and, in the process, betrayed God for another, a false god. They sacrificed a relationship for an object.

And then Christ, in all his romantic glory, comes after us, trying to win our hearts back, and we accuse him of daring to say that he was and is the same God from the beginning.

You've heard it said that we shouldn't complain that Christ is the one and only way and, instead, being thankful that there is a way. But even more important than there being one way now: there's always been one way. It was the same way that we had before we decided to start conjuring up all of these alternative ways. Christianity shouldn't be thought of so much as a sudden restriction. It's more of a invitation home.

I'm back

So, I guess I read it. And my friend read it, too. That's what friends are for. Thanks, Suz.

I'm sitting here in class right now watching TV. Yes, that's right--watching TV. We are one of the worst schools in the state and students watch TV during class.

Hey...education! Don't even get me started on education. Is it just me or has education become salvation for a lot of families? One of the newer parts of the American dream, maybe?

I had a LONG, heated conversation about it with a friend who, I imagine, wants to get a Ph.D. in education. He was convinced that a college degree was about the only way someone could get a job or any sort of "self esteem," which I like to call "arrogance for the sake of arrogance." My idea on this is that you don't need to be a genius to Git-R-Done, although, unfortunately, I'm not sure if getting-r-done is what these smarter-than-thou people have in mind. I think they demand that education is imperative for the pursuit of happiness or whatever else their ideal may be.

How did sin enter the world? Wasn't it Eve eating an apple from the tree? What was the name of the tree? Wasn't it "The Tree of the KNOWLEDGE of Good and Evil"? And aren't people doing the same thing today, holding up knowledge higher than virtue? Sacrificing relationships for achievement?

Okay, I better start teaching my class. Is it okay for a teacher to have this attitude?

Or something.

Today...

So, I'm gonna try this diary thing out. Maybe no one, including myself, will ever look at it. Am I supposed to go back and look at it like it's my little locked-up, available-to-the-world diary? This blog thing sure is a humbling experience! Oh, well. I'm (Mr. VanDriessen voice) "opening my mind."

So, today at school, one of my beloved yet extremely annoying students, Tomas, knocked my overhead to the floor. Now I have to figure out what to do each day for bellwork. Maybe I'll write a thought of the day on the chalkboard or something. That class is by far--maybe not that far--my worst.

I went for a drive today. I went by the Extreme Home Makeover house on 79th and Blue Ridge, then I cruised down my FAVORITE road, or parkway, Blue River Parkway. Rolled the windows down, beautiful weather, loud music. That's one hell of a way to finish off my school day. Washed my car. Not very good at it yet. Although I realized that since I now have a new car, I've been washing it frequently. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the summer, at least, I will have washed this car more than any of my other cars put together in the past eight years of car ownership. I'm probably a little too proud of my car. Don't know why.

To all who read this: you have now been assigned the responsibility of holding me accountable for what I'm about to type. I was just thinking about how in church last week we talked about superheroes, and we were to think about some Christian superheroes. Besides Jesus. I'm reading a book called "Waking the Dead," and it talks about the importance of realizing your potential. Okay, that sounds cheesy. But about not being afraid of your potential. I guess that sounds a little better.

I remember listening to a sermon from my church in Dallas, Watermark Community, and there was this track with a black dude preaching the various attributes for about 3 or 4 minutes or so to this phat background beat. It was pretty inspiring, thinking about what Jesus was to so many different people. It was amazing that Jesus could maintain so many characteristics simultaneously that would, for people who aren't God, seem mutually exclusive. But God did it. The black guy kept saying, "That's MY Lord!" We have such a cool God!

Then I started thinking, That's us! We're little Christs, as C.S.Lewis might say. There's no way why we can't at least strive to live like that! We (those of us, at least, who've been born again) have Christ in us! We are superheroes.

That's the challenge to which I should be held accountable. What have I done today? Well, I went to work, didn't share the gospel with anyone, didn't pray (yet), barely got out of bed, idiotically kept hitting the snooze button as if I'd get some rest in eight or nine consecutive five-minute intervals, worried about getting married, went for a drive (possibly helpful, rejuvinating), practiced piano w/o necessarily glorifying God, went and had dinner and watched a movie with some friends, stayed late, and came home. Nothing too gloriously ambitious. Guilt? Not necessarily. Pressure? A little. Hope? A lot.

uhhh...

uhhh... whadoido?